12.13.2011
hey hermano
12.12.2011
Rah-Pump-Ah-Pum-Pum
I don't really have a favourite fairytale, but Rumpelstiltskin is a good one, by good I really mean weeeeird. The King in the story is all like I'mma lock you up and hold you prisoner until you spin me lots of gold, and when you're done I'll reward you by marrying you - some reward that is. Or maybe I'll just kill you, 'cause I'm a douche.
But here I've deviated from the original story, bitch is spinning her own gold, not that kook Rumps. Anyways, I've also included some other gold things as bonus! Gold pen I bought for today's challenge, so fun! Midas pen. And the new(ish) light in my room. It's a spinning diamond, it's very witchcraft-glam, richcraft?
12.07.2011
snackables.
Just a little comic of what I did after work today, I got a very large box of salmon sashimi all to myself but now I feel pretty sick. I literally nom nom nom'ed out-loud in a scary monster voice down the street from the store to my house, good thing noone knows me in my neighbourhood.
NOM NOM NOM.
To Ramona
Still capture the minutes I'm in.
But it grieves my heart, love,
To see you tryin' to be a part of
A world that just don't exist.
It's all just a dream, babe,
A vacuum, a scheme, babe,
That sucks you into feelin' like this.
12.06.2011
flossy
Jane
Ain't there anyone here for love? Like right now here in Hong Kong. I mean, whhhhere are all the hot uncomplicated lesbians, or like the cute ones who are really good at art stuff? Where are yous? I is tired of waiting.
But yes, Jane Russell in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, so good and camp, right? I used to be obsessed with Marilyn Monroe movies in middle school, I still watch them when I'm feeling down. I'm all about Lauren Bacall and Marilyn in How to Marry a Millionaire, sigh.
12.05.2011
beauty
The Power of Beauty, Nancy Friday.
*No wait, or was this my first foray into feminism?
12.04.2011
laffy-taffy
Here's some salt water taffys for you. I think they are pretty delicious, I used to get them a lot last year when I lived near the Bulk Barn on the Danforth. A little tidbit: I wasn't allowed to eat candy or drink formula as a little kid, the sugar would make me go crrrraazzzy.
12.02.2011
moomintroll!
Moo-moo-moomintroll, I choo-choo-choose you. Moomintroll and his friends are so cool, and his siblings are adopted and his family are known throughout the valley for being weird, and we also have pretty similar values. And the illustrator of the series, Tove Jansson, is a lesbian! The character Too-Ticky is based on her life partner. It's all so wonderful.
knope
11.29.2011
11.28.2011
Brett
Dearest Jake. I'm so sorry to have drawn you as a Communist cyborg. Stop. Forgive me. Kitty.
11.27.2011
friends
Let me introduce you to my friends: Esther who is so lovely and artful and with whom I love exploring new places with - even if those places are confined the internet right now. Markus, my partner in endless strolls and dearly missed debates. And, Kaitlyn who has been my confidant since first year when we attempted a brief stint in Myspace celebritism and whom I would like to award 'prettiest hair'. I'm honestly blessed to have such good people in my life.
*Esther, I'm sorry for the weird hair in your face, it was supposed to be a flirty little wisp, I apologize for my heavy-handedness.
11.26.2011
place
truism
11.24.2011
three
Again with the favourite thing, too many to just choose just one. I guess most of my favourite foods are pretty un-photogenic: pho, grass jelly, tofu pudding, mochi, tomato and egg stir-fry.
So in the end I went with cake, a very rushed red velvet one if you wanna be specific; got home so late from work tonight.
11.23.2011
animaux
Drawing animals is so much more fun than drawing myself propped up against a mirror. I wasn't really sure what my favourite animal was but I've been seeing a lot of corgis being walked in my neighbourhood and they never fail to elicit a squeal of delight from me when I see one. But then after I drew this I thought maybe I should have drawn a primate or a monkey, they're actually my favourite I guess, but really I like all the animals.
11.22.2011
one
11.13.2011
uku
- Berthold Auerbach
I bought a ukulele recently, inspired by my dear friend Esther Kim, have you read her blog? You should. So now after work I come home and practice my Jason Mraz and Death Cab for Cutie songs. Making music (or it's more just like noise right now) soothes and refreshes my soul.
10.30.2011
Ready to Start.
And I guess I'll just begin again/
You say can we still be friends
I'm back.
8.30.2011
Jobs
'I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.'
8.18.2011
Tee Time.
8.06.2011
nobody knows
- Evelyn Waugh. Brideshead Revisited.
6.16.2011
you might find yourself
'In one of his prose poems, Baudelaire describes how a man spends a day walking around Paris with a woman he feels ready to fall in love with. They agree on so many things that by evening, he is convinced he has found a companion with whose soul his own may unite. Thirsty, they go to a glamorous new cafe on the corner of a boulevard, where the man notices the arrival of an impoverished, working-class family who have come to gaze through the plate-glass window of the cafe at the elegant guests, dazzling white walls, and gilded decor. The eyes of these poor on-lookers are full of wonder at the display of wealth and beauty inside, and their expression fills the narrator with pity and shame at his privileged position. He turns to look at his loved one in the hope of seeing his embarrassment and emotion reflected in her eyes. But the woman with whose soul his own was prepared to unite has a different agenda. She snaps that these wretches with their wide, gaping eyes are unbearable to her, she wonders what on earth they want and asks him to tell the owner to have them moved on straightaway. Does not every love story have these moments? A search for eyes that will reflect one’s thoughts and that ends up with a(tragicomic) divergence - be it over the class struggle or a pair of shoes.'
5.17.2011
F I R S T
“In the first half of my life I moved towards all that gave me pleasure. But after the accident, the accident of growing older, I became cautious, preferring the same roads to work, a familiar breakfast, marriage. Because my memory is a limited resource, like gold or uranium, I go back over my life slowly, running fingers over the moments until I can taste them again. Remembering is like running backwards, an art I practiced with a friend from childhood, Oscar, who says there are just two tragedies in life. Not getting what you want. And getting it.”
- Mike Hoolboom
∞
My friends had a 'first year party' on the weekend, they are so far away and I got all nostalgic. In my head I always picture my first year of university in such a warm perfect light, an exciting new city, always available friends, new experiences, the safety of institutions and mapped out paths. I remember sitting in my roommate Kaitlyn's room and signing up for Facebook for the first time. It's hard for me to imagine there can be any more periods in my life with such an amazing steady stream of discovery and it scares the crap out of me. But then I remember I'm looking for new experiences, not trying to recreate exact situations, with every failure of recreation I'm only reminded that only new experiences can produce that exact feeling I so long for.
5.11.2011
currentinspiration
The first photo of Jean-Michel Basquiat really reminds me I need some soul growing, also known as, art making. My job is just taking up my life, I'm now working as a junior designer, it's my first 'real' job, 9-5:30, but it's more like 6pm most days. I keep telling myself I'm going to sew or paint after work or on the weekends, but it's hard when all I want to do is turn on the air conditioning, get naked and cuddle up with my laptop and read Google Reader in bed.
The second photo is just nice, no relevance other than the fact that I would like it to be my house.
Cubicle Lady Playlist:
5.03.2011
work/rest
– Gustave Flaubert
primalfuturism.
An 2012 inspiration moodboard I did for work. Oh yeah, I got a job. Tell you 'bout it later, I'm tired, but I bring a lunchbox and wake up at seven.
Clockwise from top left:
1. Helmut Lang. 2. Got it from Tavi, you know, 'newgirlintown'. 3. 4. 5. Terence Koh.
6. Lykke Li. 7. Rogan dress. 8. Terence Koh. 9. MMM. 10. Tavi, again, the last tarot card one is from her too.
ooh oooooh oh.
Beach House - Real Love
Let's slow dance and then fall in love, for real this time.
4.30.2011
Royal Wedding Extravaganza!
Ps. The whole day I was singing Moment 4 Life, it's a pretty good theme song for a royal wedding. They should have let me DJ it.
4.28.2011
grave humping.
By Kelly McClure
Have you ever played that drinking game where a person says something like, “I’ve never eaten cat food, hee hee,” and if you have in fact eaten cat food, you drink? Well if I were playing that game and someone were like, “I’ve never had naked sex for a million hours on top of a grave, in a cemetery, in broad daylight,” I’d have to chug-a-lug.A few years ago I met a girl online and we had our second date at a cemetery in Bushwick, Brooklyn. Our first date had started off at a BBQ place in Williamsburg and ended with us slamming each other against someone’s garage door until 6 a.m., so we decided to keep it nice and mellow this time around and have a picnic on top of some dead people.
This girl had stopped at Whole Foods on the way over to pick up a selection of pasta salad, bread, something I don't remember and birch beer, so we sat against a tree eating these things, not having shit-all to say to each other. Then we walked around the cemetery making lame jokes and references to things we would never have said out loud or considered funny in non-uncomfortable situations, and after an hour or so a little buzzer must have gone off in our heads because we started (without saying as much) to look for someplace to make out. We made a beeline for a huge headstone towards the back of the graveyard, and as we were approaching it I dumped my half-full birch beer in a trash can because I was tired of carrying it around. As I did this, my date looked at me with what I can best describe as a “Kathy Bates in Misery” face, and pulled the drink out of the garbage, saying something about how it was expensive. Looking back, this is when I should have run at top speed for the subway, perhaps stopping at 7-11 for a celebatory Snickers to eat on the way home, but no, even in the face of true bat-shittery, the promise of seeing boobies always wins out.
We sat against the huge headstone and made awkward convo about how weird it was that we were able to talk about all sorts of freaky/nasty shit via email and texts, and yet didn’t have a thing to say to each other in person. (Operating at full-capacity, this makes perfect sense and can be explained with the understanding that it’s easy to “open up” and get all turned on talking to someone online because your brain is making them into whoever you want them to be, but when they’re plopped down in front of you, they/you see you/them for the bloated turd that you/they really are.) So yeah, we talked about this for a while, and I stared at my shoe for a few minutes until I said “close your eyes” and started kissing her. Once we were kissing I felt a little more comfortable, and perhaps I became so comfortable that I fell asleep a little bit and didn’t realize that I was allowing someone to remove all my clothing right there in the grass on a sunny afternoon, but there we were: me, my butt cheeks, and the blue, cloudless sky of Brooklyn, like it was truly NBD.
It would be enough to say that I had “a little bit” of sex in a cemetery in broad daylight, and find a way to stretch that into seeming like a normal thing to do, but this went on for hours. Literally a full day. We would take breaks to smoke cigarettes, or to pick at the leftover picnic food, and then go right back into the grave humping. My date broke away at one point to go pee behind a tree, and when she returned she handed me a small white flower that I assumed she had peed on to be kinky. I don’t know why I thought this, and it mayyybe wasn’t true, but given the sort of day we were having, I just figured as much.
The early afternoon turned into late evening, and we got cold from all the being-naked stuff and started gathering up our crap to leave. I couldn’t remember the way to the exit, and the cemetery was humongous, so I came up with the master plan to just walk straight in one direction until we hit a road or a fence or something that signaled “out.” We hit a fence after walking for about 20 minutes, and the opening was locked. All the openings were locked. Having not had a concrete reason to climb a fence in many many years, I was oddly pleased with the opportunity to do so, and proud of myself for being able to clear it without any major injuries. My date required the help of a makeshift ladder of boxes and a clear patch of ground to land upon, but she made it, too.
The minute we left the confines of the cemetery I immediately started feeling like the crustiest ho-bag ever. All I wanted to do was get home ASAP and watch something clean and good like Gossip Girl to make myself feel like myself again. On our path to the subway we DID come across a 7-11, and so I suggested we stop in to buy snacks and use the restroom to assess how insane we looked. There was a line for the restroom and I stood there avoiding eye contact with everyone, straightening my hoodie and casually brushing little twigs and clumps of dirt from my clothing. Once I got into the bathroom and looked in the mirror I realized why everyone in line had been giving me fish eye and whispering to one another: My face was smeared with dirt from ear to ear, my hair looked like every picture you’re ever seen of Nick Nolte, and my neck was one big hickey. Like, the entirety of my neck was a hickey. I zipped up my sweatshirt as high as I could to conceal whatever could be concealed and mentally sunk down low into my safe place until I got home.
Because I am an actual moron, I went on a few more dates with the cemetery girl. I had to eventually cut things off, though, after she house-sat for me while I was out of state and sent me a serious of hysterical text messages threatening to open my mail. When I came home from my trip I crawled around my apartment sniffing all the fabrics, assuming that she had once again (or maybe just for the first time) peed on something.
I lol'ed. Also, I've been reading The Hairpin a lot lately like there isn't enough ladynews in my life already.
4.18.2011
nicety
"No one would say that I’m nice. I am nice, really, but I don’t want to be known for being nice."
— Janet Street-Porter, The Gentlewoman No. 3.
celebrity skin
Lane Crawford x Opening Ceremony Opening Party.
Welcome to a much need break from job hunting, enter me sipping free Veuve, snacking on ice cream cones and paparazzi-ing Chloe Sevigny.
I was invited by my Chocola BB* who works at the hotel where the OC crew are staying. These people are seriously cool, but the coolest part was undoubtedly seeing the smiling parents of the brand's creators. All in a row, sitting happily on the shoe benches amongst the Kirkwoods and the Louboutins, you could just see it in their faces how proud they were of their kids!
I brought along my Minolta with the banana sticker, enjoy the results.
1. Shirley + Su from Opening Ceremony.
2. Chloe! And, some cute guys with beards.
3. Lots of local celebrities in attendence.
4. Two gaylords.
*Chocola BB is my new favourite word, it's from a super annoying 'beauty drink' commerical here in HK. I know, beauty drink? Like, what the fuck is that? But, just sing along, Chocola BBBBBBB, it's good right? Catchy.
4.09.2011
Howell.
Designer Margaret Howell's country house.
∞
Got things to do today:
1. Vacuum. It's my least favourite chore, all that noise.
2. Work on my portfolio.
3. Do a sample spec sheet for a potential employer.
4.03.2011
3.22.2011
3.07.2011
supermodel
Supermodel Documentary Hour! From Superstar.
Remember this? I forgot how much I used to like this movie.
This clip was much needed since I've been feeling sort of down lately. Got the post-school-finding-life's-purpose blues, you know.
Saw My Date with Drew on TV tonight, it was pretty cute.
3.06.2011
3.04.2011
TP
cats
Just got back from a short trip to Guangzhou, took lots of pictures with my new Blackbird, Fly toy camera, courtesy of my Valentine. We'll see if any of the pictures turn out, it took both the photo-developing guy and I 10 minutes to get the film out, I almost got yelled at; it's very easy to get yelled at in Hong Kong, you're always wasting somebody's time.
Well, here's a lazy post to get me back in the swing of things: current favorites on Flickr.
2.25.2011
MFA
>
I've been thinking about going back to school...
But it wouldn't be for another two years or so.
solidarity.
Reblog this to raise awareness and support the revolution.
>
2.24.2011
capture.
potential.
And you pulled me aside and said you're going nowhere
They say we are the chosen few
But we waste it
And that's why we're still waiting
2.23.2011
3.
Three paintings by Agnes Martin, Untitled #21, Homage to Life and The Sea.
Agnes Martin's work is so incredible in person. The last two seem like they would be particularly moving in the flesh, I'm especially drawn to the dark spaces she creates, she seems to have really captured the feeling of staring into the abyss. It's the same feeling as night canoeing and being a kid on the ferry with arms flailed over the railing staring into the splashing water underneath.