Showing posts with label soul growing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label soul growing. Show all posts

12.13.2011

hey hermano

 Day 15: Family Portrait.
Shit just got crazy up in here, photoshop accident in the second one but I might keep it, is it ugly? I can't tell. I like that it looks like they are on gold foil. These are my parents although it doesn't really look like them. I'm halfway done the challenge (!) and Esther and I said we would get ourselves treats at Day 15, so tomorrow I'm gonna look for a Treaty McTreaterson for myself. I love treats. I might get this scarf I've been eyeing at this store by my work, if it's not too exspense.

12.12.2011

Rah-Pump-Ah-Pum-Pum

Day 14: Favourite Fairytale.
I don't really have a favourite fairytale, but Rumpelstiltskin is a good one, by good I really mean weeeeird. The King in the story is all like I'mma lock you up and hold you prisoner until you spin me lots of gold, and when you're done I'll reward you by marrying you - some reward that is. Or maybe I'll just kill you, 'cause I'm a douche.
But here I've deviated from the original story, bitch is spinning her own gold, not that kook Rumps. Anyways, I've also included some other gold things as bonus! Gold pen I bought for today's challenge, so fun! Midas pen. And the new(ish) light in my room. It's a spinning diamond, it's very witchcraft-glam, richcraft?

12.07.2011

snackables.

Day 13: Comic.
Just a little comic of what I did after work today, I got a very large box of salmon sashimi all to myself but now I feel pretty sick. I literally nom nom nom'ed out-loud in a scary monster voice down the street from the store to my house, good thing noone knows me in my neighbourhood.
NOM NOM NOM.

12.06.2011

flossy

Day 12: Most Recent Accomplishment.
I recently finished a spool of dental floss! Yayyyy, that never happens I usually lose the container or forget about flossing before I finish the pack. Also, yay for minute accomplishments, aim low folks, you will not be disappointed.

12.05.2011

beauty

Day 11: Turning Point in Your Life.
The Power of Beauty, Nancy Friday.
Enter my first* accidental foray into feminism. In my then-boyfriend's bedroom, I had inadvertently picked up a book I once saw the cool girl in my homeroom reading. But turns out in my naiveté I had misread the titles and the homeroom-cool-girl had actually been reading The Beauty Myth. That fact alone validates my homeroom girl crush, I mean, what kind of a tenth grader reads Naomi Wolf? It took me four years to finish it, embarrassingly enough. Eventually, both books would go on to have a huge impact on me, Friday's simply because it was anecdotal enough to draw me in and simple enough for a budding feminists to understand.

*No wait, or was this my first foray into feminism?

12.04.2011

laffy-taffy

Day 10: Favourite Candy.
Here's some salt water taffys for you. I think they are pretty delicious, I used to get them a lot last year when I lived near the Bulk Barn on the Danforth. A little tidbit: I wasn't allowed to eat candy or drink formula as a little kid, the sugar would make me go crrrraazzzy.

12.02.2011

Sarah Kay


I would really like to have children with her.
An(other) inspiring TED Talk, this time on: art making, finding your voice and also, passion.

moomintroll!

Day Deadlines-are-Only-a-Guideline: Favourite Animated Character.
Moo-moo-moomintroll, I choo-choo-choose you. Moomintroll and his friends are so cool, and his siblings are adopted and his family are known throughout the valley for being weird, and we also have pretty similar values. And the illustrator of the series, Tove Jansson, is a lesbian! The character Too-Ticky is based on her life partner. It's all so wonderful.

knope

Oh my god, who even knows what day it is. It's disorienting, all these drawings too many goals. I'm so far behind, I just went ahead with Day 9: Favourite TV Show. I actually have a lot of favourite TV shows, I used to be all like, oh no, I don't watch TV, I guess I forgot watching internet TV counts too. Anyways, if you crop this picture right I think it would make a pretty nice 'Prettiest Eyes' badge for the Pawnee Goddesses - rawr.

11.28.2011

Brett

Day six: Favourite Book Character.
Lady Brett Ashley, The Sun Also Rises.
Brett is the heartbreaker in the canonical novel about a group of disaffected expats living in post-war Europe. Dearest Brett: you are everything I love in a woman: recklessly adventurous, impulsive, completely irresponsible, charming and miserable*. You flit through Europe in jaunty jersey with your fashionably bobbed hair, boozing and charming your way, leaving a trail of bills to settle and discussions to be finished on the meaninglessness of life. Tell me how could I not love you.
 
Dearest Jake. I'm so sorry to have drawn you as a Communist cyborg. Stop. Forgive me. Kitty.
 *I don't actually condone misery, I just find it hopelessly romantic.

11.27.2011

friends

Day 5: Best Friends
Let me introduce you to my friends: Esther who is so lovely and artful and with whom I love exploring new places with - even if those places are confined the internet right now. Markus, my partner in endless strolls and dearly missed debates. And, Kaitlyn who has been my confidant since first year when we attempted a brief stint in Myspace celebritism and whom I would like to award 'prettiest hair'. I'm honestly blessed to have such good people in my life. 

*Esther, I'm sorry for the weird hair in your face, it was supposed to be a flirty little wisp, I apologize for my heavy-handedness.

11.24.2011

three

Day 3: Favourite Food.
Again with the favourite thing, too many to just choose just one. I guess most of my favourite foods are pretty un-photogenic: pho, grass jelly, tofu pudding, mochi, tomato and egg stir-fry. 
So in the end I went with cake, a very rushed red velvet one if you wanna be specific; got home so late from work tonight.

11.23.2011

animaux

Day Two: Favourite Animal. All of them?
Drawing animals is so much more fun than drawing myself propped up against a mirror. I wasn't really sure what my favourite animal was but I've been seeing a lot of corgis being walked in my neighbourhood and they never fail to elicit a squeal of delight from me when I see one. But then after I drew this I thought maybe I should have drawn a primate or a monkey, they're actually my favourite I guess, but really I like all the animals.

11.22.2011

one

Day One: Yourself.

I'm doing the 30 Day Drawing Challenge with my friend Esther Kim.
Excuse this one, it's sort of ugly, I know. It's day one and I'm racing against the midnight deadline. Also, I really need to buy a scanner I promise it's slightly less heinous IRL.

I'm looking forward to not having to draw myself tomorrow, self-portraits are way hard, you stare at yourself for so long trying to draw you end up having no idea what you look like, like those horrible words you keep repeating in your head until they lose all meaning.

11.13.2011

uku

'Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.'
- Berthold Auerbach

I bought a ukulele recently, inspired by my dear friend Esther Kim, have you read her blog? You should. So now after work I come home and practice my Jason Mraz and Death Cab for Cutie songs. Making music (or it's more just like noise right now) soothes and refreshes my soul.

8.30.2011

Jobs

'I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.'

5.11.2011

currentinspiration

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The first photo of Jean-Michel Basquiat really reminds me I need some soul growing, also known as, art making. My job is just taking up my life, I'm now working as a junior designer, it's my first 'real' job, 9-5:30, but it's more like 6pm most days. I keep telling myself I'm going to sew or paint after work or on the weekends, but it's hard when all I want to do is turn on the air conditioning, get naked and cuddle up with my laptop and read Google Reader in bed.
The second photo is just nice, no relevance other than the fact that I would like it to be my house.

Cubicle Lady Playlist:







2.20.2011

sheets.

City of Dreams: You and Me.
City of Dreams: You and Me, 2011.
A quick sketch with pen.

12.20.2010

ghosts

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1. Betty Goodwin. Vest Two, 1970.
2. Betty Goodwin. Vest No. 1, 1969, soft-ground etching on wove paper.

If you haven't already, go see AT WORK: Eva Hesse - Studiowork, Betty Goodwin - Work Notes, Agnes Martin - Work Ethics at the AGO, it changed my whole perspective, I really recommend it.
Hurry, it ends January 2nd, 2011.

mise-en-place

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Bought some new supplies today, going to try linocut printmaking tonight.
Kurt Vonnegut says practicing any art
is a way to make your soul grow, so tonight, I hope to make my soul grow, it needs it.